FLEUR DE MOI

FleurDeMoi

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I don't wanna grow up/Moving On



On Sunday we threw a "Farewell to Lise and Dan Party. John and I also invited some of our crew on the films we're currently working on too but for the most part, in my mind, it was all about Lise and Dan.
Now, I have mention before that Lise and Dan moved down here literally at the same time I did. We both moved down for different reasons and somehow lucked out and managed to find a duplex where we both currently live. I'm the bottom half. They are the top half.

I have grown quite accustomed to having one of my best friends from middle school living right above me. I feel so lucky that when I transitioned into adulthood I had a friend who was there not for my first REAL puberty but also my adulthood one. Now, as the week is slowly coming to an end, and I'm realizing she's leaving I have begun to freak out and feel like, "Oh shit, I truly AM a adult now"
Even though I don't see her everyday it's still comforting to know she's not only a phone call away, but a knock on the door. I have not only knocked on her door to literally borrow some sugar but also when a stray dog I found after Hurricane Gustav suddenly died in my arms. She (and Dan) were there as I was crying and she took charge and made arrangements to have KiKi (the dog) cremated. While I now live with John, and I know he would take charge there is still something different about crying in one of your best (girl)friend's arms.
My Dad still has the same group of best friends since he was in 3rd grade. I always thought that was really cool and realize how hard it is to maintain friendships for that long. Even more so when you don't live in the same state/country. It's funny to think that my children will think the same thing of my group of girlfriends one day and that I will tell stories to Lise's children about how we not only grew up together as kids but also grew into adulthood together in our lovely city New Orleans.
Not only will I miss one of my besties but sadly Jackson will too. Lise and Dan took in Franco fairly shortly after they moved down and I was given Jackson a year later. I will never forget when they first met. Jackson was so scared of big ole Franco. He had only known film sets with people and mean cats who swiped at him. It didn't take long for these two to become best friends. Whenever we take Jackson for a walk he always runs up to Franco's "door" and sniffs it in hopes that he'll magically come out to play. The idea of him doing this after Lise moves makes me tear up and honestly, I will most likely cry when he does it the first week or so after she moves. I shall embrace Jackson and whisper in his puppy ear, "I know, Buddy. I want to play with them too". Note: John and I are looking at places to move because we figure it's better to just confuse the shit out of him than have him mourn the moving of his best friend.
Originally, when we moved down to New Orleans we had ANOTHER bestie from Pennsylvania who lived here. She actually wins on beating us to discovering how amazing New Orleans as she went to college here and stayed for year after graduating. She is now getting her doctorate in Australia for something I have NO CLUE about so I tell most people she's just making a robot unicorn.
“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares.” -Henri Houwen
I know it's a topic I talk about alot on my blog and I feel guilty it comes up so often but when you're grieving a death it's pretty hard not to think about how it relates to everything. Having Lise living right above me when my mother died definitely helped me a great deal. While I know I don't talk to her as often as you may think I would about it, just having her near me makes a huge difference. John is a major support to me. He has lost his father and knows the pain I feel. None of my core girlfriends have lost a parent yet and sometimes it's just really damn frustrating because words can't express how you feel and you want your friends to understand what it feels like but you are also pained/scared that you know one day they will eventually know. Lise and I have known each other basically since we were 10. We know each others parents. We know what kind of relationships we have with our parents. Good or Bad. We know each others histories so well that just being near each other during epically hard times can be the best therapy. I don't need to give a back story to a event to explain why something emotionally hurts. I know that she just knows and I hope she feels the same way about me. I hope all my core PA girls feel this way about not only me but each other. 
The PA gang (minus Meredith) age: 20?
One positive thing about Lise moving (and I hesitant GREATLY when I say positive) back to Pennsylvania is I know I will have at least one of my core girls back home when I go to visit. Two of them live in New York City which is only a 3 hour train ride. So, while I don't have one near me at all times there is a greater chance of having 4 of the 6 together during a visit home. I'm trying to find some form of a positive here, guys!
While I'm still currently shooting a movie outside of New Orleans and am able to stay in a hotel during the week so I don't have to drive at least a hour (if not more) back and forth to work (with calltimes at 5am) I'm going to try and make it work for what little remaining time I have with Lise in New Orleans and drive home every night. I know I'll see her again after Friday but somehow it seems so dramatic in my head like I never will.



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